"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
