Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
