No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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