Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
