he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
