I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
