Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
