If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
