He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
