I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it glows. i had to have it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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