his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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