But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Terrible idea I love it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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