She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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