If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
