it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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