That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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