he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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