She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
