dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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