Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
