i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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