i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sarcasm needs its own font
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
