just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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