I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I will pee on everything he values.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
