So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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