People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
