Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
