I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
