so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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