We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
