i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i wish my penis had a tongue
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
