I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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