Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
