We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
