hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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