i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
