My sheets look like a crime scene.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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