Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it's like iHOP with fire
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Success! We fucked roommates!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
