You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
