I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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