and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
