I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
