Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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