So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
