i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
