so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
