and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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