sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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