Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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