He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
