But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
