I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
